the line of durin
the line of durin
Gimli, The Fellowship of the Ring
Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters
they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay
“He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.”
"Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.”
"He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.”
"It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.”
"If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.”
And, of course:
"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t."
the one that will always stay with me is “Arthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath,” i feel like that was the first time i really understood what you could do with words.
For example, you can:
- be in a shampoo commercial
- start a boy band:
- spot some choice booty:
- break into song:
- see some people in frankly offensive outfits:
- attend a metal show:
- listen to some sick jams:
- discover zombieism:
- sample some tasty snacks:
- watch someone get burned bad:
- find something you really like:
- find something you really, really like:
- find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:
- and wonder if you left the stove on:
THIS IS SUCH AN ACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF CATS IF CATS COULD TALK THIS IS WHAT THEY WOULD SAY
imagine a vampire going “fuck it” and just taking some antihistamines before going to town on a plate of garlic bread
later on it’s wheeled into the ER with like a puffed up face and it just goes “I have been on this earth 10 thousand years but i have not lived until this day”
How lesbians signal for other lesbians.
if you look closely, in the background, there is a faint second rainbow. here we see the response of a second lesbian. this lesbian will soon sense the response and make her journey across the unforgiving terrain in hopes to mate. let’s hope she makes it. the future of the lesbian population depends on it.
this fucking website
"What about when you get old?"
Tattooed Seniors answer the question.
Omg I love these people ♥
Seriously we are all gonna look so cool when we are older. Bring it on.
When people are all like “ew think about what that will look like when you’re older.” Uhh yeah it’ll be badass they’re just trying to scare you out of it cause they’re too much of a pussy to do it themselves and they know we’ll be the badass old people